In some ways, it’s been a long three weeks since our son left for the USA where thankfully he is settling in well and is looking forward to his classes starting this coming Monday. In other ways, I’m saying to myself “is it really three weeks already?” Even though I warned my folk on my FaceBook page not to mention the “wonders of Skype,” actually Skype has been a real Godsend, literally. We are very thankful for the positive sides of technology such as WhatsApp texts, and Skype calls, which have allowed us for instance, to have a virtual tour of his living space and its surroundings. Palm trees, sunshine, bright blue skies, a trip to the sea, a trip to LA for an exploration- yep he’s doing ok thus far, for which we say thank you God! Doesn’t stop us missing the key turning in the door quite yet, though a planned holiday for the new year is a definite help!!
So two things….
Firstly, during the first week, after he had gone, there were times when, and I make no apologies for this, both I and my hubby felt quite bereft in our new to us shapes. It was also the week of some awful news items such as to tornados and earthquakes, and truthfully, I felt quite guilty about seeming to be making a fuss about my loss when so many had “real” loss. That is until I had a “lightbulb moment” when I felt God whisper to me “this is not a competition!” A friend in church put it into context when she said to me “it’s like when you catch your finger in a car door, yes you are sorry about the folks who are worse off than you, but not just at that exact moment.” I liked that explanation. It made sense to me. Maybe you might also find it helpful to consider afresh that gaining the Fathers attention, being the recipient of His love, is never a competition, no matter that our feelings too often tell us otherwise!
The second thing I’d like to share is a continuation of a searching and a determination, within me to firstly be a more peaceable person. (No comment, best ask the hubby!) And secondly, I am desiring in new ways to “finish well.”
Recently in the book club which I go to we have chosen to read Richard Rohr’s book “Falling Upward” with the tagline “a spirituality for the two halves of life.” I’ve only just started it, but so far so good. I think I’ll like it. From what I can gather from the introduction, Rohr is saying that many of us spend much of our lives trying to find, and define our identity within society as a whole, and then we spend the second half deciding what we need to “let go” of to be true to our inner real selves. I’m sure it won’t surprise you to know that it’s the “letting go” bit which has challenged me as I’ve considered, how can I “let go” if I am unaware of what I am holding onto in the first place? For instance, how can I determine to “not judge” if I am unaware of that same trait within me in the first place? How can I become more generous with my time, by perhaps choosing to listen with my heart without necessarily needing to “fix” or provide answers, if I am unaware that I’m not presently so doing? I wonder what you might be holding onto which you need to let go of in order to be a more wholesome, settled and contented in Him person?
I love then that, if I am but brave enough to pray it, Psalm 139:23 provides an answer to my what to “let go” question as we read…
“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:” Psalm 139:23
And so we pray….
“Father, thank you again that you always meet us where we are at, that your eye is constantly on us, watching out for us, and that you are longing to hold and guide us. Thank you that we don’t have to compete for your love and your attention. Thank you also for your promise to finish all you have begun in us and that our walk with you really is a tandem thing. You lead, we follow. You pursue, we pay attention to your whispers. Give us courage then, and also wisdom to sit with you and to allow your Holy Spirit to search our hearts so that we can see where we need to change. Thank you Lord that as much as we might desire to change, much more do you desire it, knowing that it will lead to more contentment as we rest in your fashioning us with your Potters hands. Always Lord, always, “lead us in your way everlasting” Psalm 139:24. In Jesus name, we pray. Amen.”
Yours in Him,